Life after Marshall

How a newborn is transforming our routines, priorities, and perspectives

I had a good life. We had a good life. Morgan and I were happy and healthy, with plenty of free time most days to run, hangout with friends and family, watch whatever TV series we were hooked on, read our books, pet our cats, and generally take good care of ourselves. Life revolved around us. It was a selfish existence, but not in a bad way—in a fun, relaxing way that let us focus on what we wanted to do.

One of the primary motivations for writing this Substack is to have a sort of journal to look back on someday. An archive of events that were important to me, documentation around moments that were exciting or challenging. I’m writing for myself, and if others find it interesting enough to read, go for it; if not, that’s cool too. I want to go beyond the specific theme of trail/ultra, although most things in my life can be pretty easily related back to running. Of all the events that have been published here so far, the birth of our first child has got to be (by far) the most life-altering.

We still have a good life, but on May 1st when Marshall was born, life immediately started looking very different. What they don’t tell you about having a baby is there is zero transition time. One moment it’s just you and your partner (and your cats), and the next thing you know there’s a little baby who can’t eat, hold his neck up, or survive without constant help. It’s a shock to the system. That shock is offset by the adrenaline of the whole delivery process at first and the initial days fly by, but then the reality sets in that you need to find a sustainable way to continue your own life while making adjustments to ensure that your baby and partner are cared for and can also continue theirs.

First family photo :) Thanks Mike!

A couple weeks into this process now, we’re definitely still learning and trying to strike a good balance, but we’ve got some systems in place that are helping everything keep running smoothly. We’ve had tons of support from friends and family bringing us meals, cleaning up our messes, and supervising while I run and Morgan gets in a nap.

Moms are really the stars of the show. My own mom and Morgan’s mom luckily both live nearby and have been so attentive to our situation, offering help all the time. Morgan not only had to go through the whole pregnancy and delivery process, but now, with no down time in between, is immediately primarily responsible for the all-consuming process of keeping Marshall fed. She’s had such a good attitude through everything and is genuinely so excited about this phase of life, even though I can see her exhaustion and I know it isn’t easy.

Just watching this lil guy that’s half me and half Morgan wiggle around between us on the couch, making little squeaks and sighs, is really cool. Sometimes it’s frustrating when he’s crying and we’ve already tried feeding, changing, swaddling, and burping him and nothing seems to work, but when he calms down and goes through his full range of funny little facial expressions it’s more cute and rewarding than I had imagined.

Example of the little snuggle bug on the couch.

On more of a running note: I’ve gained a lot of appreciation for convenience. We’ve made a lot of our big decisions (like where to live) with the foresight of thinking that it would be nice to make life as easy as possible for ourselves once we had a kid. Having trails directly out my door than I can hit at a moment’s notice between feeding windows, a little home gym setup, a basement sauna, and a treadmill I can use while Morgan naps and Marshall chills in his little baby bouncer has allowed me to continue training with fairly minimal interruption, although that training looks slightly different now. The other day on a run I was thinking about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and how simply getting in some exercise feels like the base necessity of the pyramid, with upper tiers like the social aspect of running with friends or running on more scenic trails that are less accessible being luxuries that right now I can’t often afford. Knowing that every time I go run it means Morgan is sacrificing an opportunity to get more sleep or have some time to herself makes me want to be as efficient with my time as possible, and be as helpful as I can when I’m back home.

Thanks for following along on the journey. And thanks to anyone reading this who has been part of the love and support we’ve been getting as we settle in to this new life. Respect to anyone else out there currently going through it, or who has or who will soon. Overall, it’s pretty neat.