Spinning it
How I'm convincing myself that this injury was a good thing
Dear Diary,
It has been six weeks since my MRI. Six weeks since my last trail run where I wasn’t cautiously tiptoeing downhills, attentively listening to any little protest from my right femur. This week has been the first where nothing I’ve done has caused any femoral objections, either during or following activity.
Even the runs where I have been hesitant, at least I got outside finally. No longer am I confined to the saddle of a road bike or mountain bike, the trudging of the skis, the wedgie of the boost/alter-g treadmill, or the mind-numbing slog of the uphill treadmill hike. And at least I had all of those options open to me many of the past six weeks. It could have been way worse. The skiing and biking was pretty fun tbh. I’m counting myself lucky.
Really, what I’ve been doing the past month or so is how I had envisioned much of my winter training. More crosstraining, higher volume, lower intensity. Just hours of zone 1 and 2. I had thought that would be primarily on skis, but then Utah had the lowest snow year I know of us ever having and the motivation to overcome the inconvenience of skiing wasn’t there. But now, being forced into this crosstraining block, I’m in the mental gymnasium, flipping around and spinning my situation to convince myself that it will work out for the best.
The heart yearns for what it can’t have. This setback has reminded me how much I love running, and at a basic level how much I love outdoor activity generally. I so badly want to be up in the alpine playing on peaks, but that will make it so sweet once I get back to it. The fire is burning hot and motivation is high. That’s been channeled into enough biking and other endurance activities that I don’t think my base fitness has diminished significantly, although I’m not feeling very sharp right now.
Maybe I was getting too sharp too soon anyway. It would have been good for Madeira and early season goals, but the real focus has always been UTMB for this year. Europeans skimo race until April all the time and then get into running and usually beat all the Americans at UTMB… I’ve just accidentally (but potentially fortuitously?) put myself on their schedule, which has a strong track record of working.
The end is in sight. On this trajectory, I’ll be doing hour+ runs next week, possibly mostly back to real training the week after that. Keeping biking around for as long as I can, I stand by what I said about that being a good addition that has a place in the normal rotation.
One last thing. This was a wakeup call. The femur is a big strong bone, you don’t have problems there unless you’re doing something wrong. I’ve been reminded of important habits that I had been slacking on, and I’ve been reminded of my own mortality. This doesn’t last forever, but it can last a long time if you do it right. I plan to be in it for a long time.
Just stumbled on this. I live just down the mountain from you and transitioned from mountain bike racing to running in the last year after 25 years of racing bikes.
I was also training for the Antelope Island 50k and had to do my last long run on the road after that snowstorm — ran from my place to Tibble and back, and my knee’s been messed up with IT band issues ever since. Had an MRI yesterday and I’m looking at 6-8 weeks of no running. Mentally it’s been hard to get motivated as I feel my fitness slipping away. Your post was inspiring and it’s motivating me to dig back into biking since it doesn’t hurt — figure I’ll recover and be ready for summer events.
Wishing you a speedy recovery and excited to see how your season progresses.
Some or the other time an athlete has to face this thing INJURY like the person who earns inevitably has to pay taxes. I know it is way easier said than done but brother I myself have been running since June of 2020 and totally understand how much it sucks not being able to run and the kind of emotional & mental toll it takes but hope it gets better. Hope your system is keeping you afloat as it does.
I don't know if you read or listened to the audiobook of Hillary Allen's Out & Back.
It was quite a treacherous road for her to recover from the fall in Tromso. She had to go to market on scooter and had to rely on other people for months on end, her mother was a huge support system for her at that time. Sometimes these kind of lets you be with your loved ones and enjoy, as other times we are tunnel vision focused on training, nutrition, sleeping, travelling for races and then recovering, then again training, sometimes crewing for other people. It gives you sometime to detach from the sport and lets you view your life from distance. I know this will be tough for you but you got this Caleb brother and you will be back with a bang.
She again is on crutches as she has shared on her IG account and I am not able to fathom how many times she has gone through injuries, surgeries and still she keeps showing up with unwavering belief.